What if Always was The End?
by BossC
Summary: Hanging on the roof near death, Beckett knew she made the wrong choice.


What if "Always" was "The End"?

A/N Fortunately Andrew Marlowe did NOT do this—for which I am grateful. Just a little "What if?" story.

* * *

Kate Beckett had imagined many ways she could die in the line of duty, but dangling off a building was NOT one of them.

"Ahhh." She struggled to keep a grip on the concrete. But the searing pain nearly paralyzed her. The bullet's damage a year ago had done a number to her chest and those muscles cried out in objection as she struggled to pull herself up.

"I am so sorry." She whispered. "Castle, I'm so sorry." Memories flashed through her mind of all the hours she spent with "writer boy. He was a great friend.

"More than that." She finally admitted to herself.

Beckett remembered Montgomery's words, "We give the dead a voice; we don't owe them our life."

Castle helped her remember that. He really brightened her life. Her serious job, death all around her; she needed his humor. She needed him. But he was gone. Driven away by her obsession with her mom's case. "I am so sorry."

An arm lost its grip on the ledge.

"NO!" Beckett tried not to struggle but gravity was pulling hard whether or not she moved. Her hand hurt where she had fought with Maddox.

"This can't be the end."

It was her final thought as her fingers gave way.

* * *

Esposito woke with had a huge migraine. He opened his eyes to see the hotel manager kneeling over him. His mind ran through the last minutes he remembered, "Maddox."

"Who?"

Esposito sat up, "Where's my partner?"

"I don't know."

The dread in his stomach grew worse. Something was wrong.

_How could I?_ He knew Ryan was right. He pulled out his cell.

"Ryan."

"We need back up and we need it now." Esposito's terse words snapped his partner into action.

"Be right there."

"Call SWAT."

"Got it."

Very faintly he could sense the smell of gunpowder. He looked around. The stairs were right next to the room. He grabbed his weapon and cautiously pushed the door open.

The ricochet marks grabbed his attention.

_God no._

He headed up the stairs. He made it to the roof.

"Beckett! Beckett!"

No sound. No one in sight.

* * *

Ryan made SWAT move as fast as humanly possible. Ryan knew he was the only one of them who knew what their man looked like so he stayed with the team locking down the entrances.

"His room was on the 3rd floor. Go." He ordered. Captain Gates followed the SWAT teams heading into the hotel.

Ryan took a team around the building. Nothing out of the ordinary in front and the side but at the back…

There was a body.

_God please…._

He saw the blood spatter and recognized that it must have been a fall. He glanced up. Nothing looked out of the ordinary.

As they neared the body, he saw a police shield near the body. The gold numbers mocked him:

41319

_Beckett._

He looked at the body…long hair…coat...Ryan saw the man's watch she always wore in honor of her dad.

Ryan dropped to his knees.

* * *

Esposito willed himself not to cry. The EMTs checked him out thoroughly but he refused to go to the hospital.

"Javi? What's going on?"

"Lanie…" He jumped to his feet. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm on duty today, I got an officer down call."

Esposito's face paled.

"Javi?"

"No. Call Perlmutter…call Laura…anyone…"

"Who is it, Javi…" Lanie watched the tough cop melt. She grabbed him before he hit the ground. She searched his face. "What is it?"

"It's Beckett."

Lanie pushed away from him, "No."

"I am so sorry Lanie." The guilt was eating him up.

The veteran ME stumbled away and vomited.

"God no." Tears poured down her face.

* * *

"Withholding evidence! You should be ashamed of yourselves." Gates railed at Ryan and Esposito.

They would never tell the news that Detective Beckett died as a rogue cop but in her closed office Iron Gates lit into Beckett's team.

"You both are suspended: Badge and gun. Now."

Ryan reached for his weapon. He snapped the safety on his gun and dropped both the weapon and the badge on the desk for Gates.

"Esposito?"

He was hesitating. The gun went to the desk first but he hesitated with his shield. His fingers rubbed the numbers. He dropped to on wood desk.

"Keep it. I resign."

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Ryan's jaw drop but he stalked out of the office. He didn't keep many personal items on his desk so it only took a minute to clear. The guilt was unbearable.

"Javi, what are you doing?" Ryan stepped in front of him.

"You and Castle were right. We should have slowed down; got others involved. He might have still gotten away but maybe…just maybe," Esposito's voice broke and he glanced away, "Maybe Beckett would still be alive."

"It's not your fault, Bro."

"Then whose fault is it? You wanted to send SWAT. It's certainly not yours. I was there. And Cole took me out and she had to face him alone." Esposito strode away from his former partner.

* * *

"Breaking news: NYPD has confirmed that the body found outside of a local hotel is that of a New York City detective."

Castle froze. He couldn't look at the TV.

"Details are still forthcoming but officials have confirmed that Detective Katherine Beckett, a homicide investigator was the only casualty in the raid. Detective Beckett is a…" Castle dropped his beer as the emotions rushed over him.

Not even 24 hours since he left. She was reacting on pure emotion. _And she is gone._

He looked at the TV in time to see them put her official NYPD portrait on the screen. Her smile seemed to mock him.

_I should have been there_. He shook his head. _She made her choice... I should have been there._

But he knew he would never write another Nikki Heat novel.

The End

* * *

A/N: Thank GOODNESS I am not the creator! Just some morbid thoughts I had about "What if…". They might be mad at Ryan now on the show, but he DID save her life. When they have time to reflect on it; she'll see it—and hopefully thank him.

I would love to hear your comments and reviews. Please post!


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